Jealous Metal

Indonesians used to say that all things have spirit. Their polytheistic world view meant honoring the spirits of man made objects to: the bridges, the buildings, and cars. Cars are made of metals, all comes from the earth, and the earth is a living entity.

It is true.

Our black ford escort is in love with my husband. She gets jealous. We used to joke about how she would always break down if my husband spent too much time with another vehicle. It was the 1969 old ford truck she was most jealous of. When my husband finally sold the truck, she began humming again like a nascar racer.

My husband has three vehicles now, a GMC truck, the ford escort, and a quad.

Yeah, it's sickeningly cute of us, but we named the vehicles: Shelia the truck, Jecolia the escort and Barry the quad. Barry was christened by my husband's eldest son.

My husband is careful to tend to each vehicle, devoting time to each of them equally.
Jecolia is jealous metal. She will break down if he spends too much time on the others, he even had to get rid of the riding mower because she got so upset in the summer, spewing oil over the driveway like a vehicle spurned. It was a case of engine gone mad!!!

Last weekend he screwed up. He gave Sheila a tune up, then took Barry for a spin. He towed the boat on the back of Barry to take to the garage for it's annual clean up.

Jecolia threw a hissy and now she's refusing to budge. It's her wiring apparently. But my husband and I know better.

She watched through her widened headlights as the object of her desire, my husband, lovingly wiped Sheila's hood, as he took Barry through the green tinged post winter grass around the garden, as he pushed all vehicles aside to give his boat the well needed shelter from the elements in the comparative comfort of the garage.

I'm thinking Barry might not be Barry. Barry may well be Barry-lina. Perhaps my husband's son wasn't able to correctly identify quad gender? (I think you have to peak under the bumper.)

I am thinking Barry's a bitch! Who knows what whisperings occur late at night between vehicles? I feel sure that Barry-lina's at the bottom of all the troubles. I feel sure she's taunted Jecolia, "he prefers my plush vinyl quad seat to your scratchy covered buckets anyday."

And so Jecolia sits in the driveway, her spark gone, and tail lights drooping.