Getting over heartbreak, 101.

How to Get over a heartbreak.

1. Cry alot.
2. Eat comfort foods.
3. Don't remember any good times, that will
keep you stuck. Try to remember all the horrible things
so that you can remember why you broke up in the first
place.
4. Cry some more.
5. Eat some more.
6. Use the anger to clean up your living space.
7. Only hang around friends who tell you how his eyes
were too close together anyway. At this stage,
you need emotional enablers.
8. Cry some more.
9. Eat some more
10. By now you should have eaten so much
you should be puking.
11. By now your body should have run out
of snot and salt and grief like liquids, so that
it is not possible to cry or eat. You should be looking
in the mirror saying "holy crap I got to do
something about this."

Keep repeating this process until the ex is fully out of
your psyche.
12. When you start to notice the sun is shining, and
that there are some cute men out there..you are over it.

The fall

I fell down. When you fall down sometimes you scrape your knees, get bruised, or break bones.
My friend Simon falls alot. It's part of his physical condition, he knows it, expects it to happen and has prepared himself by knowing what moves to make to help prevent damage. He has learnt how to protect himself for falls. I admire my friend. He has taught me alot.

My falls aren't the physical kind. I fall emotionally. I try to think of why I fall. Maybe it was because I wasn't looking where I was going? Maybe it was because I wore the wrong kind of footwear? (Shouldn't wear high heels while mountain climbing). Maybe it was because I wasn't really sure of my footing in the first place? Maybe I was pushed?

I've learned that the reason doesn't really matter. "Who dunnits" don't always address the solutions- the future personal "to do" lists necessary for healing.

Life is full of falls. I have fallen down alot in my life. It's just annoying that I keep falling in the same way and in the same place.

I wasn't prepared for the last fall and I hadn't learned to protect myself, to fall in a way that would cause me the least amount of damage. There was nothing to cushion the blow.

Obviously I fell from a great height..because I really fell such a long way, screamed a long time, and landed very heavily. I tried to use alcohol to ease the pain. It didn't really work, just gave me a headache and dragged out the hurt. The drunken broken hearted only end up validating the heartbreaker- "that's why I left" they say, pointing self righteously toward the mascara smeared in the tequila soaked puddle at their feet. (Ofcourse it had nothing to do with their stone cold sober lies and carefully planned betrayals.) I forgive myself my heartbroken
reactions. I understand why I fell.

Where I landed was great pit full of muddy anger and slimy self pity. There were tears of loves gone by, floating timbers of former relation-shipwrecks, ripples of "who done me wrong" resentments bubbling with "if only's"...

It's a slippery mix and hard to climb out of. At least it's warm. Climbing out of it means facing the cold brisk air, shivering as you dry off.

You have to be careful as you pull yourself out of this slow-sanded pool. Don't be reaching
out your hand for help.

Caped crusaders who need "damsel's in distress" appear wearing hero masks. They hold out a hand to help you up and out, only to backhand you with the other and push even deeper into the pit. Spider man turns out to be sticky boy, superman turns out to be mega pimp, and batman turns out to be a blood sucking dracula. Behind every hero mask hides a bluebeard.

I've been such a sucker for superheros. My first love was astro boy. I guess that was an early indication that I would be bound to find two dimensional lovers in my future. My romantic life has the storyboard of a cartoon.

In the pit of the broken hearted you need to be still. Others may call out to you, encouraging
things like "get over it" and "do you need a wahmbulance" and "you wet your bed, now lie in it"...and "get off the pity pot" -you can't always heal the way others insist you heal.

I tried it. I tried faking happiness. "Look at me, I have moved on! Ta da, I am
so looking for a bonk right now and I am sooo big and stwong!" Nah.
That have a nice day shit is for the shallow, the narcissistic and the
hollow hearted. I just have to wait. I have to wait for time to do it's thing-
put a bit of gaffa tape around my soul, stay honest about how I feel and rest.

You have to be still. If you thrash around the wounds open, they bleed.
Then those pesky vampires appear. They come to feed off that energy..
the blood. Your misery simply becomes a feeding sanctuary for fang wearing
love vultures.

Good grief or bad... it cuccoons you in a salty blanket. I guess that helps you heal. If the grief wasn't there when you came crashing down you might smash into a million fragments. At least it softens the fall.

Life is full of falls. I fell without a parachute and as I hurtled towards the earth I really thought someone would save me. I really thought leaving myself so unprotected was a brave proof of my love and courage. It was just stupid.

I am not guilty of faithlessness, I am however, guilty of stupidity.

I know though, that if stupidity was a crime I would be in a very crowded jail. I've not been the only fool in love. I just want to stop being a repeat offender.

I have had the kind of blind trust and naivety that a telemarketer prays for. I walked with a bullseye on my heart, and my heart was on my sleeve, not a safe place to wear it.
My pain isn't private either. As a child I was a better seeker than a hider. I would make
a terrible poker player. Because of this I don't fit in well with this mechanical reasonable
time. I love therefore I am. I wonder how Mrs. Descartes ever coped with Rene? All that amming and thinking- no room for soul in that "reasonable" world.

Mastering emotions is one thing, denying them another. Making "reason" the ruling
way of being seems to be like pimping out your own humanity to please an automative
society. Surely that time is at an end.

This last year I found out my husband was having an affair, I lost my house, my dog and all I knew to be love, stability, home and belonging here in this foreign land. It was like being
in a bad country song. It hurt - and to be hurt by such a cliche brought me to
my knees. Ugh...to be left for the "other woman" is utterly devastating. No need to
go to an ashram to get your ego broken, just date my ex.

No amount of pleading, crying, screaming and praying changes anything. It
did help me move through things faster though. Slowly I began rebuilding...
I began to try to renovate myself...self examination followed by action to
be sure I took responsiblity for those areas within myself that may have
been non relationship friendly. I began climbing out of the pit.

then ..someone gave me a hand..and offered me a comforting heart...

and words. Words words and words. Such beautiful words. "You're beautiful" and
"I love you" and "I love the 'essence' of you." When did that change into "you're an asswipe
and a simple bitch", and "you are replaceable" and "you've got to change"?
How do "I love you notes" scattered around a room become "an irritation and indication
of 'excessive behavior traits'? Drawers full of porn are okay? "I love you notes' are
sick? And so I fall again...

He wore a superhero mask and Michael Jordan shoes. He spoke in 12 step cliches and prayed in the warm limelight of grateful sponsees. He was more X than Malcolm, more talk than
walk and put the ass in Onestas.

When his mask slipped, there stood the familiar grinning bluebeard.
Turned out all he ever wanted was a temporary tooth fairy. I was just a
replaceable vagina, an exotic trophy to wear on his arm at various occasions,
and back up mature aged booty for in between his affairs with barely legals
and crack ho cinderellas.

His serenity nearly killed me. He has groomed his enablers to disregard
the fourth step. He is part of a group conscience that seems to have no conscience,
their silence a mere tacit agreement that this outdated sexism and predatory behavior is acceptable. Kelly's bar becomes Killers bar. How can there be principles before personalities
when the group is ran by the unprincipled?

My love and trust in others has cost me. I am four thousand dollars in debt. I
ended up in a hospital three times this last year. I am exhausted. I am pissed off, and hurt.
I can't heal wearing someone else's band aids.


I won't lie about it. I will try
not to lie in it. But I don't want to reach out to be hurt again.

I am going to climb out of the pit.

I am going to make my own way.

I am going to be like my friend Simon, and
learn how to protect myself for life's inevitable falls.

There will be no more "falling in love."

I intend to rise in love- along with the like hearted.

I love therefore I am.

The River

I am at the time spoken of
when the river flows very fast.
And so, it's better to go with the rushing waters
not hang on to shores past...
past sands
past lands
past flanks of roads once travelled
past broken levees
and shifted ground
past dreams unravelled
and rusted crowns.

Did you ever see the clouds spirit sigh
as it drifed overhead?
And know it's calling?-the glow of promised water
a song sung to your last
last lie
last chant of your goodbye
last cry
last flighte of holds once tight held
last song by unheard angels
and redman sky?
-last sunrays faded
and darkened waterfalls?

I am at the time they had foretold of
when water rise rushes down
and I go with the rapids
floating so I won't drown
go down with what needs to be submerged
down in the levles deep dark below
down in crumbling caverns
and abandoned caves
down beneath the overflow
and racing waves.

how to tell if you are dating a control freak

Did you check with them first to find out if you were allowed to read this?

Healing through humor

So I should have learnt to be American. I should have learned to sue.
Meanwhile, here's how an Aussie deals with injustice. Humor.
Let me give you a warning,
let me give you advice,
if you go to Grand Canyon
you might hafta think twice...
there are bobcats and lions,
bears and the rest,
but nuthin' as nasty asPark Ranger Hoese.

CHORUS:
She's got a mean face
and a great big butt
she hunts down tourists
in her Ranger truck
she'll give you a ticket
if you wear a grin
she's more scarey than the
drop on the south side rim.
Wa-ooooo

She hates tourists with a passion
she hates children too
that khaki ranger beast
will come after you
if you're on vacation
she won't let you rest
there's nothin' as nasty
as Park Ranger Hoese.

She's got a mean face
and a great big butt
she hunts down tourists
in her Ranger truck
she'll give you a ticket
if you wear a grin
she's more scarey than the drop
on the south side rim.
Wa-ooo.

If you are clean and sober
and you have a good time
she'll still breathalyse you
make you walk her line
if your record's clean
and you pass all her tests
she gets as mad as a skunk
with bad pms.

(v/o:"She'd call for back up if you farted in a forest"... "She's a bigger ass than a
canyon trail donkey" "now I know why them forests are petrified!")

She's got a mean face
wears her badge up front
I'd love to shove her tazer up
her crusty old ..........rock front
if you ever see her on the canyon rim
do us all a favor and push her in!

America's empty pew syndrome

Jesus Christ wasn't a Christian and if results from the American Religious Institute survey are correct, then it would appear, neither are many Americans. According to polling data from the 2001 ARIS study, American identification with Christianity has suffered a loss of percentage points in the last 11 years. Christine Walker, writer from the Huffington Post, reported in her 2008 article, "The Great Evangelical decline," that half of the southern Baptist churches will have shut their doors by 2030 if the current decline in membership continues."

Highlighting these changes in the cultural faithscape, former U.S. President, Jimmy Carter recently joined growing numbers of Americans, cutting ties with traditional Christian Churches. He says his reasons are because of his opposition to sexism within the southern Baptist community.

"I personally feel the Bible says all people are equal in the eyes of God, that women should play an equal role int he service of Christ in the church."(qtd in Atlanta Journal-Constitution.) Mr. Carter is not alone in these views. Some congregations quit two years ago when the southern Baptists declared that wives should "submit graciously" to their husbands. Baptists share their views towards women's roles in the church with other Christian religions.

In October last year, the vatican issued a strong warning to those supporting the ordination of women priests. Father Bourgeois of Georgia, received a warning letter from the vatican's doctrinal watchdog, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the faith. They advised him that if they did not receive a written recant, he would be excommunicated within 30 days.

Shrinking numbers of American nuns over the last few decades has spawned an investigation by the vatican into "Sister Leadership" matters. The doctrinal assessment comes as a result of the vatican's belief that American nuns are not sufficiently promoting the Church's line on homosexuality and other issues.

Not everyone agrees that Christian America is in crisis. Writers, William C. Symonds, Brian Grow and John Cady in their "Business Week" essay, "Earthly empires," claim gallup polls revealed a "rising fascination with spirituality in the U.S." They suggested events of September 11th, along with rising numbers of aging baby boomers, (as you get older your spiritual interest grows), accounted for the sudden mass soul search.

They cite examples of the southern Baptist billions pumped into building theme styled churches to support their claim. Cowboy worshippers, biker chapels, and mega churches are part of the new glory glamour. Children's pastor from the main campus of Goreshcel's Life Church believes "kids are bringing their parents to church," and so justifies the creation of a 3D Christian theme park, "toon town."

Other evangelical entrepreneurs had plans underway for the construction of "Bible park USA" in Tennessee, and for traditional Christian tourists, Jesus is crucified 6 days a week at Orlando's "Holy land" park.

Inspite of their optimism, Symonds, Grow and Cady have neglected to acknowledge it's more likely that non Christians will outnumber Christians by the year 2042. Ironically it could just be that their enthusiastic claims for Christian success, may in fact, account for the waning interest of the formerly faithful. They've possibly outlined the reasons for the nation's empty pew syndrome.

Perhaps people don't want commercialized Christianity? Perhaps they've had enough of McJesus style worship? Perhaps after the scandals of pedophile priests in the Catholic church, they don't want to, (as the Goreschel New Life Church pastor suggested), have their children
used as targets? Perhaps the three male writers have misunderstood why half of the American population are possibly disatisfied with a dated religious patriachal system? Women don't want to have to break another glass ceiling, especially one made of stained glass. Maybe gays want inclusion rather than to be used as religiously sanctioned scapegoats for hate? And perhaps the baby boomers seek something more spiritually significant than "Holy Land USA" to find deeper life meaning?

Mike Harton, writer with the "Richmond Times Dispatch" in Virginia, wrote recently in his article, "Churches facing the boomer challenge," that "boomers are eclectic in their sources of
spiritual cues and do not fit the required conformity of many congregations." In contrast to
the claims made by Symonds, Grow and Cady, Harton observes that baby boomers are less loyal to the faith traditions of their parents.

As for using the examples of Christian theme parks to prove the alleged swell of evangelical
interest, - that's like saying Chucky Cheese is responsible for the renewed interest in goat's milk fetta.

Both Christian amusement parks have run into trouble. The Orlando Business journal reported in January this year, that the fifteen acre "Holy Land Experience" was suffering from financial losses due to less than hoped for attendances. They sold out to Californian Christian company, "Trinity Broadcasting Network." A spokesman for the network said they had no plans for expansion of the park.

Meanwhile in Tennessee, residents in Rutherford county opposed the construction of "Bible Park USA." It would seem that hell hath no fury than a Christian entrepreneur scorned, because developers have since filed a $2million dollar federal lawsuit against the county claiming their zoning application was "improperly denied."

Symonds, Grow and Cady point out how former President George W. Bush and the republican right enjoyed support from the evangelical movement. This maybe true, but the writers fail to connect some important dots. If, as they said, "ranks of Americans who express no religious preference had quadrupled since 1991," could it be possible that George W. Bush and his government played a role in the drops of numbers of faithful? Did people become disenchanted during his Presidency? Did they lose faith after September 11th due to the way he reacted to events? The Christian tenet, "love thy neighbor" certainly did not play a part in this famous methodist's foreign policy.

"Newsweek's" published poll results, revealed that the number of people who considered the U.S. as a Christian nation in 2005 was 71%. That number fell during the Bush era to as low 62% in April this year. While Symonds, Grow and Cody proudly lauded, "the triumph of evangelical Christianity was profoundly reshaping many aspects of American politics and society," they did not say how.

"We were duped," argues Christine Wicker. "All the hype proclaiming an evangelican resurgence was merely that- hype, a furious shout from a faith losing it's grip, manipulation by a relatively small grop of dedicated, focussed, political power seekers."

So, while the old time relgious crusaders clutch at straws, building super dooper Jesus Lands, Virgin Mary-go-rounds, guilt trips and talking in tongue towers; while world harvest churches rape their congregations for what little tithes they can get, the majority of Americans are leaving the church pews in quiet steady droves.

Not surprisingly, one of the nation's fastest growing religions is Wicca, a neo pagan nature based religion. With the growing concerns for environment, and rising numbers of women disillusioned by the misogynistic machinations of a fading patriachal power system, more are turning to the Goddess worshipping spiritual traditions. The original inhabitants of this land, the Native Americans share similar belief structures. Perhaps America has finally come full circle and is about to embrace what truly is the "old time religion?" If so, could this be America's national Karma?

If this trend continues, America will no longer be "one nation under God," but perhaps,
"one nation under the Goddess."

Bail out the rich

What do you do when there's a leak in the boat?

Bail out! It doesn't matter who created the hole, cos if you don't bail out, then everybody on board drowns. This is why I believe that bailing out the auto giants, "big three", GM, Chrysler and Ford, that dynamic duo of housing, Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, and indeed the banks,"the big lot of 116", and, -oh hell, any ol' millionaire who's having a tough time. (Let's give Donald Trump a coupla squillion while we're at it, he could do with a new toupee.).If we don't bail these guys out we sink too. That's what we're told. (Apparently none of us can swim!)

With the average American 16,000 dollars in debt (excluding mortgages), and over all consumer debt up 20% since 2000, allegations that the nation's populace are financially illiterate may be fair. The obvious solution is to make sure the averageAmerican has no way to get their hands on any more money. Give it to the CEO's!

The way to look after the little guy, is to save the big guy first! That trickle down theory is the warm wet flow down the trouser leg of a Hank Paulson onto the rest of us....eventually.

Remember that savings and loans crisis of 1987-1989? They were bailed out for a relatively cheap 250 billion. And who profited in the end? The Wall streetbankers who were able to snap up some of those institutions at bargain prices whenthey eventually turned healthy, thanks to the bail out. And now, with a trillion dollar bail out rescue plan, it's inevitable that Wall street will profit again. They couldn't do it without us.

We're the little guy, the taxpayers, the rescuers. We're the powerful ones. Without us where would they be? We can't let the plantation go down. What we've got to accept is that America was, is and always will be a slave based economy. The credit companies, banks and institutions profit from our debt and misery. Should the average American prosper, the entire system might collapse.The illusion of freedom is there, but those of us at the bottom of the financial tier are still bound by invisible chains. We might not like the masters, but the fact is, if the plantation does goes down, where do we go? China?

Already China's premier, Wen Jiabao has expressed concerns about its massive holdings of Treasuries and other U.S. debt, appealing to Washington to safeguard their value. Certainly when AIG received it's bail out and offered it's top executives million dollar bonuses, China must have felt reassured. They knew the money was not in danger of falling into the wrong hands, that of the average financially illiterate, debt ridden American working class! By helping the capitalists, perhaps China presents it's case for communism? It doesn't need to go to war to do this, just lend money.

Why do we stop at money anyway? If we really want to bail out the rich, let's give them more. 47 million Americans have no medical insurance. There's a wonderful crop of organs to be harvested, blood to be drawn; a ready made market for human body parts for the rich just waiting to be exploited in that section of the populace. Like money, what the heck does the average American know what to do with an extra kidney anyway? Give to the needy. The rich are needy for more. Let's all give them our first born children too.

Some foolish suggestions from economists say the problem is not with the banks and institutions but with the housing market. They point out that the best place to start remedying the Nation's economic woes is to begin by addressing the problems there. By putting money back into the hands of the average American and bailing them out of their mortgage and housing debts, institutions risk losing out from their crisis profiteering. That can't happen. The working class are only guaranteed their right to the pursuit of happiness in the constitution. Nowhere does it say they have the right to actually be happy.

As our numbers of homeless grow, (currently estimated to be 3.5 million) and poverty rates increase (35.9 million living below the poverty line), so will the optimism of our nation's wealthy. For the more the numbers of a recession wearied populace grows, the more the wealthy have available to exploit. The more they cutback on education spending, the less likely it is for the average American to be able to literate in any area of life. Uneducated, with no medical insurance, home or money, yet powerful enough to bail out a multi billion dollar institution? Bail out the rich? Ofcourse we say yes.

The poor are too sick and tired to say "no", and thanks to the education system, to illiterate to spell it.