Ah, that Americans could be so easily fooled and pushed to anger? Who knew?
Who knew the Christmas tree, whether plastic or real was considered to be a source of such nationalistic fervour? Who knew that American pride could be so badly damaged by the renaming of millions of Asian factory made plastic imitation conifers? Who knew that so many Christians could feel so wounded that they could turn to hatred and intolerance so quickly?
And who knew that such spiritual facism existed? Who knew so many wanted to occupy your chimney?
Shame on you you followers of Kwanza, Hanuka, yuletide soltice merry makers. Shame on you Buddhists, Jehovah's Witnesses, Hindus, Moslems, wiccans and sufi followers.
Shametide.
How dare these millions of people, "minorities" threaten the beloved naming of worldwide plastic.
We won't even mention the gay folks who might dare to do obscene things with tinsel at Christmas.
Um. Isn't it all a bit silly? Come on now America. It's a tree. I hate to tell you this, but trees grow all over the world, not just in your country. (Well admittedly you have chopped quite a bit down in other countries - perhaps that was so other people wouldn't have access to trees at Christmas so you wouldn't be threatened by other Christmas tree rivals?)
The origins of the tradition date back to Ancient Egypt, to Ancient Rome, to the Druids, the pagans and many many other religious traditions...OTHER than Christianity. I bet they were a bit upset when the Germans (and Martin Luther) pinched the idea. In fact Christ wasn't even born on the winter soltice.
As for the whole "if you don't like our Christmas tree and if you're from another country, go home" argument. Um...well there are some who might tell you to buggar off from their countries where you have gone in uninvited - the places you have sent your youth to die in the name of the "freedom" you now deny others to share.
If the naming of a plant has created such furor, but the naming of a war didn't, ("freedom") then the truth of the Ugly American mythology that has bullied and dominated our world for so very long has truly come to light. People are not outraged by a war? But they are outraged by the naming of a tree?
A belief system, so flimsy, so easily threatened can go against it's own major tenet "love thy neighbor as thyself" to hate, rage and complain about what they call a tree? Perhaps George Carlin's quote is apt here: "leave symbols, for the symbol minded." What kind of religion is this?
To be true to this belief, there ought to be a CHRIST mas tree that hangs on it's boughs, the dogtags of all they have killed in the name of freedom (their own and others who have been victimised in this latest atrocious war), there ought to be golden bullets and decorated oil wells adorning the branches, and then by the nativity scene of Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus, armed guards and soldiers outside the barn with the three wise prisoners. Instead of "Peace and goodwill to all men" please hang the words of truth that ring out loudly during this debate: "Peace and Goodwill to all, except for Moslems, Gays, Jehovah's Witnesses, Wiccans, Hindus, Jews, 'minorities' and anyone who doesn't think like me."
Jesus didn't have a Christmas tree.
I have learned something though, alot of American Christians are easy to piss off- they are ready to hate over a tree...just don't tell them their version of St Nicolas, was hijacked by coca cola. They might detonate the nuclear bomb if they find out Santa isn't real. Ssshhh.
This year, I am going to decorate a rock. I am calling it a Holiday rock and I'm going to honor what I have thrown.
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